I haven’t learned many things from this life. The rules seem to keep changing and when you get comfortable that changes too. But I have learned this one fact. Anytime I challenged myself and faced my fears. Anytime I suit up, bet the house, and walked tall through the fire. I came out the other end a better Gentleman.
OTHER THINGS I LEARNED
Always wear a condom
Never fuck with people who serve you food
Sailing is way better then power boats.
Spoil your animals or your a cunt.
Skiing is better then Snowboarding.
If a woman cum 5 to 10 times to your one she will always love you.
Don’t drink and drive.
Respect cops. They may beat your ass.
Cops can’t run fast in those boots and belts.
Cowboy boots are only good on naked women and horses should be ridden in flops. Jesus did it.
Always have a cig in your ear, rum in your hand and matches in your pocket when flying. Fucker may crash.
Drink plenty of water when drinking. Good for the hangover and kidneys.
Protesting is better with a Camel pack of booze. Don’t forget your gas mask.
Always take a med kit on hikes and river trips. Even if you don’t need it you may get to play doctor on some hotty.
Before doing anything stupid or dangerous ask yourself. “Want to die of old age?”
Zombies are awesome.
The only sin in this life is regret. Live life hard as a mother fucker. You only get one.
And the last thing Taylor Oceans has learned from this life. When fucking her doggy, give God a high five and bring down his wrath on that fine tight ass he created as hard as you can. If she loves it she is a keeper.
Face your fear America. It is only a manifestation of our own doubts and should be conquered. What one man can do a Gentleman can do better.
Long Live the Writers
Now by my book, tell you friends to do the same and watch a Gentleman conquer his fear of heights by sky diving in a suit.