Declaration of War

If John Wayne could see you now.  America you have pushed me to my limit.  I’m going to curse at you, insult you, belittle you and hopefully when I’m done with you, you will be a Gentleman.  And I don’t want to hear any shit about cursing, spelling, format, punctuation, or any of that shit. The first rule of being a Gentleman is read between the lines.  Fuck face value, its the message that counts.  And I’m a dyslexic writer who hates computers so fuck off.  But if you have a complaint about my writing print out your message on 8 1/2 x 11 paper, one letter per page put in large envelope and shove it up your ass.  You will receive your big black rubber cock in four to six weeks and you can go fuck yourself.

I have seen Americans lie in the gutter with crushed in skulls from muggings.  Drowning on their own blood as it filled the pot hole he fell in after being beaten by three men with pipes.  Crawling to get away till they tried to kill him by crushing his skull.  They didn’t even take his wallet or still running car thirty feet away.  Risked my life to save a stranger from a smoking car after a wreck while over fifty people watch and do nothing.  My runt ass and an old man pulling a guy out of a car that could have blown at any time.  I have risked my life and almost killed to prevent a rapping.  America what are you doing to your self?  As Hunter asked, “Have we deteriorated to the level of dumb beasts?”  Where have the Gentlemen gone?  And not the wigs of old.  The pompous wind bags who start wars, but never fight.  Not those who enslaved hundreds of thousands.  The good, noble, men.  The Gentleman.  That is what I’m going to teach you America.  That is the lesson today.  Together we can find our manifest destiny.  One that doesn’t involve exterminating entire peoples and stealing land from other countries.  Sorry Mexico we liked the gold we found in Cali. A destiny of peace, where intelligence and education are prized not belittled.  A destiny of Gentlemen.  So what is a Gentleman you say?

A gentleman is neither a sissy nor something to be ridiculed or trivialized, it is the final step of becoming a true man. A gentleman does what’s right and what’s hard, no complaints. He is a steadfast, ostentatious icon who will give up his life for truth, justice and the American way while juggling the abilities to make a martini, avoid SWAT & properly seduce a stripper. A gentleman knows what must be done and how to do it. As The Duke once said, “You must be a man before you can be a gentleman.”

In this crazy, fast-paced, computerized world, it seems that the word ‘gentleman’ has become lost to the times. Gone like the wigs of old and the cod pieces of the past. I think it’s lost because no one has taken the time to redefine this word and how it pertains to our times. Will this book tell you to get the door for women? Yes. Will it tell you how a gentleman gets a lap dance? Again, yes. How about protesting or blowing a line? We’ll cover them, too. This book will establish how the new gentleman of our times walks, talks, fucks, sails and buys drinks. How about airport security, sex toys, and river trips. Again covered. We are going to enter the info age with a new look and new set of rules. Some of this will not pertain to you, much of this will offend you, but I guarantee that there is at least one good piece of information in my tale’s for you. So let’s begin…

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