Threesomes

Threesomes

Now of all my stories this is the haziest and one of my favorites. Now gentlemen this story is about going for the belt. The dream of all men. To simultaneously disappoint two women at one time or make two lost souls find the meaning of life and the limitless orgasms they possess. It all starts as many of these stories do at college. My roommate god bless his soul was the Ahab of pick up artist always on the lookout for the white whale. Every woman he brought into the room I wanted to cut up bring the chunks to a boil and refine into lamp oil. So me being the sophomore roommate and he being the freshman I made the decree that his privilege of bringing woman back to the room was redacted due to the fact that every time I saw one of these leviathans my cock would give me the finger and retract into my body as some sea creature would when threatened by predators.

Well one night I get a call on the dorm phone because yes this is before everyone had a cell and its Morgan with a question. He brought to my attention that he was Ahab, apologized, and was hoping I could make an addendum to our contract and make an exception this once because he had two chicks. He sweetened the deal giving me first dibs on one of the hot chicks. Perplexed by the contrition at hand I was about to agree when he said there was a catch. One of the girls moms is with them and he informs me its parents weekend. I respond with ‘cougar’ ? And am quickly shot down by illustrations of how Rossi O’Donald was more arousing. Curious as to the repercussions of a drunken evening with a mom running interference and with complete faith in my skills with all things woman I excepted the challenge and say “bring them up.”

A few beers and bowl packs later and there is a knock at the door and I am met with a very good looking white chick with huge tits and an even hotter black chick with a very tight body. Me being a tight fan and looking for that check box of a black chick. I levied to make her scream my name till she lost her voice. Luckily the mom was the white chicks, but running interference for my roommate I came up with a plan. Get the mom black out, stone cold, cross eyed, shitty, slam dawger wasted and let my roommate introduce some foreign objects to her daughter while I practice my own form of affirmative action and make mine cum first.

We resolved to play beer pong. Now my college didn’t have a football team which is one of the bigger reasons why I chose that school being a lacrosse fan and a very charming runt. So our school sport aside from lacrosse was beer pong. Guided missiles were not as accurate as me. So I chose the mom as my teammate knowing that no one would get us off that table all night and we started playing.

Game 1: she never made a shot, but could stand straight.

Game 2: the mom starts to wobble and still misses all her shots.

Game 3: the wobbling worsens, but she makes one.

.Game four: she is smoking my cigarettes and she starts telling embarrassing stories.

Game five 5: she incorporates a chair to her game, but surprisingly she invents the 50 year old seated shot and sinks one.

Game six: she is laughing dancing, she is smoking my cigs, and having the time of her life.

Game Seven: for the Championship; I look over and she is passed out in Morgan’s bed and when I say passed out I mean fucking unconscious.

I check her pulse before Morgan disappoints her daughter.

Now the mom is passed out in my roommates bed and mine was lofted with a smoking box under it. All four of us retreated under the smoking box and went to our separate sides. Now I’ve never been one to have sex in so close proximity with another dude especially my roommate, but wow black chicks are hot. So luckily while we still have some clothes on, my roommate suddenly sits up and vomits on my feet. Oh yes it went just that abruptly. With absolutely no warning what so ever my roommate pukes all over my feet and in thirteen millisecond is out of the smoking box, and out the door before I can bludgeon him with my fist. Not surprisingly he was not seen for 24 hours.

So with two chicks, a passed out mom, half my cloths off, and puke on my feet I made a decision. To fuck them both, right after I had a few beers in the shower and washed off. I politely excused myself put on a towel, got my tote, and walked out to the showers down the hall. (Side note I love totes, they are six packs for the shower except one of the beers is body wash) . I return to find not one but two chicks hot and ready for me, with the mom passed out on the other bed. Next thing I know we are taking off cloths and this is when the blurs happen. You see in that shower I found my buzz again a lot faster then I thought. I was fucking wasted, but still took the title match. It was great what I can remember.

Gentleman remember if things go wrong, don’t throw in the towel. Take a few minutes to yourself, get your head straight in the shower, and conquer that puke feeling everyone gets when they get puked on.  Image

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