Tape in the wallet and two Halloween costumes
Back in the day I was tending bar at a Halloween party. I was 23 the girl’s house we were at was 21, and most of the kids were under age freshman. So anyone would figure I’m going to get busted for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. I figure if they are already delinquents I cannot contribute to what is already done. So the party is going great I’m making some money for the girls and I can drink as much as I want including jello shots.
Then it happened. COPS! RUN! And every one scatters. Now I couldn’t run because the girls looked to me to deal with such problems and I was fucking one of them so its either fix this or find new Halloween pussy. Now I like a challenge and had a plan. Tape in my wallet and a second Halloween costume. Knowing that when one of those delinquents gets caught drunk by the cops he will be asked who gave you the booze. The delinquents response will be “Chewbacca” due to my fine choice of costume. One that covers your face. Now when the Cops showed up I ran upstairs to the girls room and under her bed was the plan B bag; get one. I rush into her bedroom dressed as Chewbacca to find a random girl in the room sitting on the bed. Without saying anything I dive between her legs to get at my bag under the bed she is sitting on while stripping off my chewy costume. She is in utter shock and in two seconds I’m in my boxers in the middle of the floor taping bags of illicit material to my stomach and putting on a toga. In ten seconds I’ve changed from chewy to Socrates and taped my bags of whatever to my person and am heading out the door.
I got three steps back down the stairs when I realize the house is full of cops interrogating the girls. All at once the cops turn and see me and I suddenly realized how truly drunk off my ass I was. This cop tells me to come down and asks if I know Chewbacca. As if God himself put these words in my mouth and before I realized it I had already said it. “Yeah that son of a bitch got behind my bar, was giving out drinks to the underage kids, and was selling drugs. He ran out the back when you guys got here and you may still catch him if you hurry.” Those son’s a bitches ran out the back door so fast light would have felt handicapped. I look at my Halloween date and it was wet for she had just discovered my genius and hoped that genius extended into the bed room. And on that night it did kids. I said party on to the rest of the delinquents and the music started back up. Later that night I hit it like a head on collision, and walked home knowing I had renewed my gold standard of Gentleman’s behavior. Stick with your woman and please the fuck out of her.
This can keep you out of jail. Use a gift card of some sort, to hold tape in your wallet so in case of a sudden search you have ready tape to attach any illegal merchandise to your person. Take an old card in your wallet, I use a marshals card, and cover it with tape. Duck tape is the norm, but I vary it because duck tape can not quite do it for me. I use a breathable waterproof surgical tape that if necessary can be left on the body for an extended amount of time yet is very comfortable.
So gentlemen, in conclusion before you go out All Hallow’s Eve, be sure to remember your supplies:
An initial costume that covers your face.
A plan b costume that could cover your face
3 condoms as always
and the card in your wallet….with surgical tape on it.
With these supplies and proper gentleman action you can never go wrong on that favorite of slutty holidays.