Lighting a Fart on Fire

Lighting a fart on fire

So one night on dorm, being sent to boarding school, my buddy was bored and wanted to light a fart on fire. He fully committed to this by lying on his back dropping his pants and throwing his legs over his head. I think he was going for a flaming oil rig and if that’s not trade marked consider it coined. Here’s the fart, the light and o my god it burst into flames. Get out of the way. “The worst catastrophe in the world the flames, oh the humanity, O God’.” That was the Hindenburg if you didn’t get that joke it was that brutal. So my buddy is a hairy guy and when I say hairy, I mean chewy would tell him to get a back wax. Well men you know we have hairy asses, and a select few have hairy asses, that connect to hairy backs, which is connected to hairy necks, which is connected to the hair on your head. So my bud on the ground with a flaming ass, and back, the flames rapidly moving up his back to his head. He gave a new meaning to stop drop and roll because he had stopped, dropped his pants lit himself on fire & rolled all over the carpeted place with a flaming oil rig coming out of his ass. I’ve never been in war, but they say the smell of a battle field is the worst smell ever, but I will say my bud’s shitty, flaming ass, would give it a run for his money. So being kids in boarding school when the flames died down and we stopped laughing and I mean the kind where you fall over and do you’re best not-to-piss yourself. We realized the night time security guard would be along soon due to the the murderous screams and hysterical laughter and we did what kids do when in trouble. We ran away.

For the record my bud was fine, minus his back hair up to his neck in places. So kids what did we learn from this. Lighting farts on fire is a bad idea if you’re the one doing it..

7 thoughts on “Lighting a Fart on Fire

  1. Thank God I’ve never felt the need to do something like this. All through our teenage years we were curious about a lot of things – this one included – but fortunately were sane enough to let someone else try it out (as you did). : )

  2. Cripes, that was funny! You’re probably too young, but have you ever heard Cheech and Chong’s album “Sleeping Beauty?” They had a similar skit – priceless. As was the “The Great Bedpan Derby.” Thanks for the follow and the like on my poem Rage. And the bloody great laugh. Cheers, S.

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