Sex Toys

Sex toys

A key element of my redefinition of Gentleman in the modern age is wild and crazy sex. Now I’m not saying bust out the sex swing or magic wand on first date, but after a few bangs hell yeah.  Spice it up.   But if she doesn’t want to play don’t force it.  Try again on your birthday maybe Christmas and if no go sorry dudes.   Sex toys are a very fun change for sex. They add new excitement and put simply can do the work for you when you need a quick break. A sexy thing to say to your woman is, ‘start without me’, especially if you’re running late or grabbing some condoms. You return to find her half way there and you didn’t even have to do a thing. Shit, I’ve stood there, smoked a joint and watched the show. Why the hell not… Jump her when she is done and the orgasms just roll out..

Getting her to the first cum takes time, but after that its pretty much down hill. So try new things and watch a porn, or fifty, to catch new ‘lines’ so to speak. My favorites are cum on that dick, scream my name, and make her say thank you after ever cum. Try them. The important thing is to engage her and keep her focused on cumming. You have to pry it out of there mind body and soul to really do it right. That will be the next book back to sex toys for now. Followed will be a list of toys from basic to the crazy. Or a really stocked sex kit if you ask me or my fuck buddy. You can own all these for about 400 to 500 bucks. I recommend Jtstockroom.com or Adam and Eve.com.  This is supposed to be an overview I highly recommend you do some more research.  Read up on sex its the most fun you can have without laughing.

Vibrator Most are the smooth version, while they graduate all the way up to the pumping rotating throbbing versions. These are great for her to start without you or to loosen up her ass before you enter. Also while your doing her get her to hold it on her clit. Tell her to cum

Vibrating cock ring This is my personal favorite and they make disposable ones that cost a dollar. They are pleasant for both parties and you can wear two one worth the vibrator at the top for her clit and one on the bottom for your balls, but you will never last longer ten minutes with two those thing rock. Also these are supposed to be one time use but I have washed and reused them. A little soap some rubbing alcohol all over and you can get a few uses. Also they are shower safe. Should have seen me standing there naked, condom on, with this thing on my finger seeing if I would get shocked before I fucked her with it and give my dick the electric slide. Gentleman approved, shower safe for all parties.

Bullets these little babes are small battery powered clit vibrators that are just that great for her clit. Employ at all times and positions because she will always cum harder with a vibrator on her clit.

The magic wand this is the greatest creation on earth forget all other human advancement. Nuclear Power, the cure to polio, maybe even sailboats. This corded device never needs batteries and is always a crowd pleaser. This hand held device is good at all aspects, but its a little pricy and a bitch to keep clean. However if you try one thing on this list try this one. It vibrates so hard you have to plug it in. Put that on her clit and she will love you forever.

Shaped condoms These are fun a little pricy for a one time use thing and come ribbed studded all sorts, they are just cool.

Hand Cuffs Great stuff, you can cuff her hands behind her back and not unlock her till she makes you cum. If done properly she will ask for water while sucking your dick by saying, “Please sir may I have some water.” Very cool moment in my life. But beware the black ones may look sexy but they are hard to see and operate in the dark.

Butt plug these are great for stretching her ass before a good humping. They work for all position, but some are prone to slide out of the really tight ass so you may have to keep a hand on it.

Anal numbing gels These are great for numbing her during the break in process. Just put this on your fingers or toys first or your going to have a numb dick. I recommend anal ease or anal blue.

Anal beads These fun toys are great for her ass. They can be used in her pussy to but don’t go from hole to hole or you will give her a yeast infection and no more sex for you buddy. Also when she is cumming pull them out and watch her moan. You have to time it just right at her point of climax or its all fucked up, but I will say later is better then sooner.

Remote control vibrators These are good for the exhibitionist. Strap it onto her and take her out to dinner for some public fun. Although this is a much more secretive cum and she will quiver on how she can’t make a noise no matter how much you turn it up from across the table. Be sure to turn it on and off when she is ordering.

Ball Gages these are fun for the kinky fans. Gives her something to bite on when she cums and is better for the neighbors since she can’t get those loud ear piercing screams.

Open mouth gags these are also for the very kinky and will make her scream more since she cant ever close her mouth. Also with her mouth open all the time it is hard not to stick something in there if you know what I mean.

Sex swings these wonderful contraptions are great for all kinds of positions. There are two main version one with a support frame and the other hangs from a bolt you instal into the ceiling. If you have the space for a framed one they are great because they give you something to tie to. I have the hanging one and its great. I installed some eye bolts in an entry way and hid the eye bolts with a pull up bar. The eye bolts in the walls are used as coat hooks. Both swings are great as long as what ever you get has the huge industrial spring in it. This thing does all the work for you. With mine I just hang onto the handle bar get the spring going and enjoy the ride.

Lubes This is the most overlooked aspect of sex. Everyone just goes for the KY and gives up. Break free the shackles of the basic KY and forget all that heating tingly bullshit. Get yourself a real lube and when you plow that wet pussy like a corn field she won’t even think of KY. The best is hydrosmooth but I think its discontinued so I’m currently searching, but I may end up with CVS brand Silkie Smooth. It lasts longer then KY and is cheaper.

Cleaning storage and maintenance This is the most important. Toys are expensive and if you don’t clean them you will best case scenario have them malfunction worst case you will spread an std around. Clean all toys after use. I have waited till the next day but I soaked them in antibacterial soapy alcohol for and hour before and after cleaning. Clean your shit really really fucking well. My house is dirty as a rhinos asshole but my toys are stored in plastic bags in a suitcase ready to go at all times. You house can be dirty and disorganized, but your sex toys cannot be. Also rinse off the lube bottles once in a while.

19 thoughts on “Sex Toys

  1. Your intent is interesting but I have to say you are wrong. Many women cannot orgasm with a partner. Not because they don’t like that a man can do it better at all. I apologize for being rude, but that is a purely ignorant statement.
    Toys are different than playmates. Completely. If I want to get myself off, sure I will grab a toy. If I want sex, it is completely different desire and scene. I then request my partner help if he hasn’t already jumped on me already as my pheromones let him know what I want.

    And lets face it men, chance are you really don’t get a woman off every time you think you did. Yes. We fake it. For your ego, not ours. Furthermore, there are plenty of men out there that fake orgasms as well. NO a male orgasm does not require ejaculation. Enjoying sex has nothing to do with orgasms. Furthermore, if your lady cannot orgasm with you, she can learn to orgasm alone, train her body and THEN be more likely to orgasm with a partner.
    Too much info here, my dominant & Master and I do not seek orgasm on my end, it is the process that we enjoy. Yes we play with toys, you name it we have no qualms about trying it.
    Yet we do not need toys to get kinky. That comes from chemistry and passion. Yes, they are fun.
    Lube? Screw KY. That stuff is nasty. Slumber Parties sells a lube that is called “Just Like Me” is water based and divine. YES YOU MUST USE LUBE! Even without toys.
    Your cleaning tidbit is far from accurate, but I’m going to shut up before you reach through this computer and bitch slap me.
    FACTS:
    According to the Kinsey Institute: (look it up, great place to learn about sex)
    Only 29% of women are actually satisfied with the orgasms with their partner.
    About 85% of men report that their partner had an orgasm at the most recent sexual event; this compares to the 64% of women who report having had an orgasm at their most recent sexual event. (A difference that is too large to be accounted for by some of the men having had male partners at their most recent event.)
    http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html#orgasm
    I will get off my soap box. But one last thing; You have a following. Get your facts straight and check your spelling before trying to spread more misinformation to the public. There is so much misinformation out there in the world regarding sex, toys and the like it just strikes a nerve with me to read this stuff.
    Again, no offense intended here… I think I am going to have to blog-vent myself on this. LOL
    KCCO

    • Wow guess I opened can of worms here… First sure your right some woman can get off, I’m referring to spicing up ongoing relationships I would not recommend meeting a chick at the bar taking her back to your place busting out the shackles and the magic wand that would be a bit much and I will consider a rewrite. Not trying to insult woman just pointing out that most people like it done for them. Especially combining sex and toys is what I’m going for here. Second (damn long comment) I also agree men these days or maybe for all of history have sucked in bed. Believe me when I get repeat business to my 135lbs 5,6 tiny ass, I’m left curious to what the hell my tall buff men are doing I’m a runt. Third love the tease game. I like to make her count down from thirty before she gets to cum or I will stop. Forth agree with the passion and chemistry listen to her boys like I said pull it out of her “mind body and soul”. This refers to chemistry again may rewrite later but I have a date tonight. Fifth (Jesus women huh just playing) Will try the lube thanks since I lost Hydrosmooth I feel like a blind man in a store. And I agree water based the way to go and washes off easier then its thicker competitions. Sixth cleaning is fine what the hell can live through rubbing alcohol and soap? You can peal paint with the stuff. Seventh again agree men suck in bed. That’s why I’m trying to throw my boys a bone here. I’m not getting any more specific then this technique, and such others I leave to them. And lastly my favorite I’m dyslexic darling I gave up on spelling when I repeated sixth grade. Want to write not edit. Now Gentleman see what I’m talking about instead of “My boyfriend used the magic wand on me this valentines day to tease me, till I was drooling with desire then he garbed me in his rippled arms and pleased me till I could take it no more. I laid on the bed excruciating from desire and happily fell asleep in his arms. Guess my man is a Gentleman too” See guys what the fuck are you doing get your heads in the game. When a beautiful woman says that a magic wand, anal beads, bullets on her clit, and sex swings is not fun I want to ball punch ever man who has let her down and buy her a drink. Guys go read the 50 shades of grey or something. Well my dear thanks for the comment and proving I have lots of work to do here with my boys because that was my valentines day minus the big arms again me runt…and she fell asleep before I got out of shower read V day done right disciples. Jesus this is long and I’m late for dinner and who ever sent this KCCO or is that something kids are saying these days? Hit me back on proper cleaning procedures for the class please. Thanks for your comment and lets talk about sex baby lets talk about cleaning supplies lets talk about all the good thing and bad things in the bed lets talk about sex…

      Taylor oceans

      This has to a be a record comment

      • 🙂
        KCCO = Keep Calm and Chive On
        TheChive.com
        You will thank me for it later. Trust Me.
        I’m going to throw up a post about cleaning. You can destroy silicone, real skin etc if you don’t care for your toys properly.
        I can send you a sample pack of the Slumber Party’s lube. Not sure who manufactures it, but I have samples in foil packets (free) if there is a way I can get your addy not on a public space.
        Sorry it was that line about we can do it better than she can that REALLY got under my skin more than the rest…
        And cleaning with wrong products can be bad for a woman’s health. Fungal infections if too sterilized, bacterial if dirty….
        I’ll try to have a cleaning post up tonight for you. Feel free to copy from it, I’d rather have it just copied than have people getting wrong information. Let’s face it, important topic.
        Ha. My Master is a shorty 🙂 Never would have dated him, but WOAH. Love and sex like out of this world. Women need to give the short guys a try 😉 I am so glad he was persistent.

      • Hell yeah we got a back and forth love it all Keep cal and chive on I like behind the times on everything technology. Never thought of rough chemicals because we normally break the damn things after a month or two anyway although no fungi surviving that dip. Pisses me off how you pay forty bucks for this crap and the switch breaks. Always the damn switches. OK woman looking over my shoulder I have to go. to be continued. and short guys rule.

      • PS A close friend of mine was dyslexic and hung himself over it before we made it to adulthood. Kudos for even being so courageous to blog with that challenge.

      • Jesus sorry about your friend. I just accept my short comings, but I don’t have to spell during sailing, smoking, or sex. We all have problems its how we carry them that is the journey. Scoliosis too 45 degree, wouldn’t let me play football so I played lax.

      • Kudos for being awesome then 🙂
        Content is good, just the issues with the typos distract from it. I can help you proof read if you want.
        And thanks for not taking offense, I was on a rant. Will get you the toy info ASAP. Master has my attention tonight.

      • no worries love and feel free to comment on errors although I fear it may take a life time with my writing 🙂 Will have to try the lube
        keep it real
        taylor oceans

  2. The bit about open mouth gags….”stick something in ther if you know what I mean”..funny..but so very true. Guarentee you if shes wearing it…she wants you to…just sayin’.

  3. Again you are hysterical!!!!!!!!

    Now let’s see you talked about cuffs and gags but what about floggers,crops, nipple clamps any glass dildos. You really should increase your repitoir (sorry if misspelled).

  4. Really it exist now the bullet built in …wow! you know where to find it ?….You should try different things, different toys. For more amazing

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s