To be Free

Now that the book is in final stages I look back and wonder what my message is. To party,to stay in school, do drugs, quit drugs, to bang, wear condoms, to be nice, to be mean, to be sensitive, to strong, to dream, to be realistic, to be a writer? What do I have to say, why should you listen to me? And here is the message… To be Free. Free from fear, free from guilt, free from doubt, free from selfishness, free from ourselves and to live as gentleman or ladies or transsexual gendered, gentle-lady what have you. Be free from thinking our lives are stuck where they are. Free from saying I can’t do it. Free from saying my book will never be published, free from the nightmares of being forgotten. Β To be free of the illusion of control.
The freedom and courage to be who ever you want to be. The writer, the sailor, the drug dealer (I do not recommend this one), the cowboy, the astronaut, the engineer, and hell why not a stripper (Dancer). Be free from despair, loathing, and all the other shit we think is real. Live your lives don’t let someone else live it for you. You only get one.
I want you to be free to laugh, dance, have sex in public, walk in the rain without an umbrella, walk in the grass barefoot, enjoy a sunset with friends in silence, carve your name into a side walk, sail around the world so many times you forget how many times while having a 15some. But don’t hurt others, don’t take others freedom, respect your fellow man and woman. Don’t disrespect others religion or politics, in short don’t be an asshole. Be a gentleman. If you have learned anything from this 27 year odyssey I’ve called a life it’s “hold on tightly, let go lightly” a quote from one of my favorite movies Croupier. Be free to get what you want, and be free to let it go when it’s time. We can always change when we are free.

And now a clip I watched over and over and over again as I wrote this 41,000 word book. I wanted to be free from the life I was in, and I knew I was free to change it anytime. So enjoy my tales.

I’m going to be just like you…

29 thoughts on “To be Free

  1. Awesome movie, awesome post and a great message too! Does this mean your book is getting published? If so, fuck yeah!

  2. trainspotting – incredibly difficult to watch and yet, a wonderfully crafted film. it is all about the choices we make isn’t it? i’ve been struggling because at 31, coming up on 32, there’s questions and uncertainties because i wasn’t free from fear for so much of it. i wasn’t free from playing it safe or feeling stuck for so long so getting unstuck now is difficult and feels impossible, but it’s a must if i’m to be genuinely happy, whatever that may be. this is so well done. i’ll admit some of what you write unnerves me in some ways, but really it’s good to be challenged. best of luck with the book! im sure it’ll be awesome πŸ™‚

  3. Congrats on your book! I love what you’ve said here, I strive for that freedom! I look forward to reading through more of your blog. πŸ™‚

  4. Hi just wanted to let you know that I have nominated you for the sunshine and versatile blogger awards 2013- congrats- I love you blog!
    Just go to: to find out more about the nomination and how you can nominate other bloggers!

  5. thanks for dropping by….im so glad you did….that was the most amazing inspiring analysis of trainspotting ever conceived …i love this movie…many of my friends think maybe im a bit twisted and disgusting because of it. I’m happy to throw this in their face.
    As for a book, written by yourself, from what i’ve seen here …i am overly excited to read…and wow.
    you rock.

  6. Your message is beyond what most would expect from all the travels and hardships in your journey. BE FREE! Such wise words! Good luck with the book publishing and ever after!

  7. Freedom: – means having the right to do right – and also to do wrong. There is no such thing as a free ‘society’ as living with others carries a number of ‘limitations’ so can we ever be totally ‘free’ and live in a society? Or must we be a hermit to be free?

    As for going to be just like me – i would never recommend that – be just like your(good)self wants you to be.

    God Bless and all success πŸ™‚

  8. Bad ass, Mr. Oceans. If I had a hat on, it would be off to you. Great advice, words to live by.Twenty seven years old and you nailed it. Except for one thing- please, please, please, PLEASE- don’t have sex in public. I am not ready to explain that shit to my two year old. Aside from that, have a ball!

    • then I apologize to you, the seven hikers, and one kayaker who caught me banging by the river most recently because I didn’t stop. I simply waved them down the trail as I pulled her hair and faced her to the crowd while banging the crap out of her from behind. Of course the kayaker hung around a little longer then I would have liked, but hey I’m sure he learned something and luckily kayaking takes both hands so I didn’t have to worry about a spank show. But how else do I get a tan on my skinny white ass? thanks for reading


  9. My heartfelt thank you to you!! I needed to read this, to know this, to start living this again…now to give myself a kick up the butt and get myself into gear….watch out world I’m coming back πŸ™‚

  10. I have a feeling your book is going to be a great read! Kudos. Have you ever read ‘A million little pieces’ (controversy of this book aside) I found it intriguing and I think you are on a path of success. Just work hard and get the word out there!

  11. “Free from fear, free from guilt, free from doubt, free from selfishness, free from ourselves… To be free of the illusion of control.”

    I love this. I did finally learn about the “illusion of control” but I keep trying to control anyway. I thought control would save me from my fears, but that illusion only causes more pain and more fear. Due to a traumatic childhood, it seems my whole life is about the horrible fear I have to fight all the time. Yet I know that thinking and worrying about it will only give it more power.

    It just loves to scare me shitless, leave me curled on the couch in hysterical tears, keep me anxiously vigilant for the next trap – chasing me down the road of life, running as fast as I can. But I know I need to make that leap of faith, jump into the nothingness… and know I will be safe. That’s freedom.

    I’m inspired by you who have made that leap – and I hope to follow you some day. I want to enjoy the full flavors of my life before I end up with that final freedom of death.

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