My First Fight

As you have figured out America I have been through some shit. Beaten up, beaten people, almost shot people, almost been shot, almost been put in a wood chipper, had cancer, beat cancer, and of course had some very embarrassing moments.

Imagine a small boy, if you will, age thirteen.  Very small boy in fact.  Damn you genetics.  This boy is being raise by his mom and she feels he needs more male role models in his life.  Her solution to this problem; Karate class.  The boy is dressed in his Gi that’s the white karate suit for the none Karate people myself included.  This Boy gets out of the car pumped.  He has images of him learning to take Bruce lee and Chuck Norris on at the same time.  A sixty pound kid bouncing off the walls, doing flips, as Norris and Lee cry for there mommies as they wet themselves.  He would fight the karate kid and fucking own his bitch ass.  Ares the God of war would bow to this, thirteen year old, four foot tall, boy while Athena gave the kid his first BJ.

The Boy strutted into the dojo with all his Serbian bravado ready to school his class.  He is immediately met by his Sensei who says “Your Oceans, your new to the class right?”  The kid bows and says “Yep”.  The Sensie replys with “Then your first fight is with me!” and the boy is suddenly impacted in the bladder by the iron foot of his Sensie and the boy pisses himself in front of the entire class.  We are talking just upgraded my white pants and belt to yellow.  The Boy crawls out of the hole in the wall his body just made from the diamond tipped foot of his teacher dusts himself off and walks out.  His first lesson was so fast his mom hadn’t even left the parking lot.  He sat his piss covered self in the car saying nothing and the mom drove home in silence.  The lesson was clear.  Always be on your guard.  And pee before fights.

Alright America gave you this one because the book need a few more days and it will not be done by Friday.  I have to send in the corrections and it takes about five days to get another printed book to me.  I’m sending them tonight.  But rest assured I will not stop you will have my book very soon.

15 thoughts on “My First Fight

  1. It sounds like your book will be compelling, this story is wild. I like the lesson part, looking at the upside and taking what can be learned from it. Wonderful! Thank you for sharing.

  2. Hi! Since I cannot find an appropriate place to post this here we go 🙂
    Welcome to the blog Me & Ian or Spirit & Earthling. You say, ‘ . . . nothing is simple in my life.’ Well, that is how it appears to the mind. Actually, it is very simple – a matter of perspective 🙂
    Keep to the direction in which your conscience point!

  3. Thanks for the follow. Really enjoyed reading this. Poor you! I used to do Judo as a kid, but only because the boy I liked did it; it was a chance to get ‘close’ to him, ha, ha… Oh dear!

  4. Your writing style pulled me in, and drew out some memories I had not thought of in years. It wasn’t in a karate class, but rather a school classroom, I think i was in fourth grade. I raised my hand and asked the teacher if I could go to the bathroom and he said no. By that point my bladder was ready to explode. The memory gets a little hazy at this point, but what I do remember is that something harsh happened and I pissed myself in the middle of the class. I was covered in urine, and was frozen in fear. After that I have no clue what happened (unfortunately due to a therapist that destroyed my psyche as a kid I don’t remember much prior to 6th grade. I only remember a few things, the rest is darkness).

    I’m definitely going to follow your blog and put it on my blogroll, I can’t wait to read more of your posts. I’m curious, and maybe it says it in another post, but what is your book going to be about?

    Also thanks for stopping by my blog, it really means a lot to me that you took time out of your day to read my posts.

    I hope you are having a wonderful Friday evening,

    Dave.

  5. That’s terrible, man; did that really happen to you? What kind of Sensei does that? I have nothing but the fondest memories of my Sensei. I would die for that man. He was simply awesome, like Mr Miyagi but ten times faster and cooler. In fact he was the son of a Grand Sensei, and tought us nothing but honor and discipline. If we were accidentally irreverent, or repeatedly dumb to learn a sequence, he would hit us in the arm or leg, but more for show that for pain, in a way that was precisely measured to elicit focus and concentration. I have been abused as a child, and I can tell you I never, even for a mili-second, felt humiliated or insulted by his correctives. I felt honored. Anyway, spunky writing you’ve got here; good luck with your book and thanks for the follow!

    • yep I pissed my pants in front of everyone after he kicked the shit out of me. Now when fighting I just hit someone with a chair, book, lamp, baby. You know what ever is in reach. Or a good old bullet.

      • Well, Sensei was always reminding us that the most important concept is: we learn karate so we NEVER get into a fight. To automatically avoid potentially violent situations; to smell them a mile away and simply not be there. Once I remeber this episode: a brown-belt from our Dojo, very fast, exquisite control, was in a bar with his girlfriend. Some other dudes knew he was a karateka and waited outside for him. When they surrounded him (apparently they were six or more) the guy pulled a Chuck Norris and left them all on the floor. It was spectacular and, apparently, very prestigious for the Dojo, right? When Sensei found out about it, he banned the brown belt -who had been close to the black-belt exam- for two years.

        So it seems you are in a combative mood, permanently waiting for an aggression. If this is the case, let me assure you it doesn’t have to be this way anymore. I used to live under a similar reality, and the moment I found it was I who was creating it, I began to change it. We can reprogram our minds to select a different life. Check out my book for advice on how to accomplish this. If you can’t afford it I will get you a free copy, ok?

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