Well America you have done it again. You have made me sad to be an American. Am I the last person in this country who honestly enjoys sex? I don’t bang for my relationships. I don’t bang because its been a week and we need to once a week. I don’t bang because its my birthday and she is letting me get some. I bang because I fucking love it. When ever I can where ever. Three, five, seven times a day if we both have the day off. I love the feel, the sweat, the screams, the look in her eyes when she says thank you after every cum, the sound of the hand cuffs clattering, all that great shit. I fucking love fucking. Seriously, aside from sailing which can and should be done during sex, what the hell else would you rather do? Nothing. Really I never have and never will get it. I’d be banging right now but my buddy is out of town.
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing and you know what good sex involves laughing once in a while. When she cums so hard she head butts you and breaks your nose. Laugh. When your banging her in the sex swing and the lube you spilled on the floor makes you slip and fall on your ass wearing only a condom and shameful grin. Laugh. When your both lying next to each other covered in sweat, consumed by the wonderful tingling feeling you get after great sex. Laugh. Sex is fun and you will make mistakes so laugh at yourself and get back in there if you know what I mean. You will pull off the condom to fast with a couple pubs. You will have to stop because the lube bottle slipped out of your hands and rolls under the bed. You will break furniture of all kinds. You will be caught. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. You know what you do laugh and bang some more. No shame I have done all these countless times and told all 11,000 of you crazy followers. Read my stories. The broken nose was a bitch. Its still a little crooked.
When did sex become such a taboo topic America? We all were born with equipment for it, we all know it feels really really really really really really fucking good, and shit America its a great workout and many of you could use one. So put on a condom grab the woman next to you (go gay guys to I guess) and bang her/him where ever you are reading this. In the living room? Bang. Bedroom? Bang. If she is in the kitchen cooking get in there turn off the stove and bend her over the counter. On a plane? Get that mile high club. But stop planning, scheduling, accounting, rationalizing, registering and calculating sex. We are all eating, shitting, fucking animals. And anyone who says they aren’t is a eunuch.
So why have I gone on this rant today well here is “Breaking News” on CNN. All the shit going on in the world Americans want to hear about a couple who had sex every day for a year. This is pathetic. I have done this by accident for at least three years of my now 28 (birthday a week ago 😦 I’m old) life. What do people do in college? Study? Any way here it is
Now get out there and please your woman America. Wear condoms.
Long Live the Writers
By the way America you wanted it you got it. My book is done. Click link below and buy ten copies.
11,000 disciples in my first year of blogging fuck yeah America thanks. I wrote this book for you. And got an editor for you.