Sex Life of America

Well America you have done it again.  You have made me sad to be an American.  Am I the last person in this country who honestly enjoys sex?  I don’t bang for my relationships.  I don’t bang because its been a week and we need to once a week.  I don’t bang because its my birthday and she is letting me get some.  I bang because I fucking love it.  When ever I can where ever.  Three, five, seven times a day if we both have the day off.  I love the feel, the sweat, the screams, the look in her eyes when she says thank you after every cum, the sound of the hand cuffs clattering, all that great shit.  I fucking love fucking.  Seriously, aside from sailing which can and should be done during sex, what the hell else would you rather do?  Nothing.  Really I never have and never will get it.  I’d be banging right now but my buddy is out of town.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing and you know what good sex involves laughing once in a while.  When she cums so hard she head butts you and breaks your nose.  Laugh.  When your banging her in the sex swing and the lube you spilled on the floor makes you slip and fall on your ass wearing only a condom and shameful grin.  Laugh.  When your both lying next to each other covered in sweat, consumed by the wonderful tingling feeling you get after great sex.  Laugh.  Sex is fun and you will make mistakes so laugh at yourself and get back in there if you know what I mean.  You will pull off the condom to fast with a couple pubs.  You will have to stop because the lube bottle slipped out of your hands and rolls under the bed.  You will break furniture of all kinds.  You will be caught.  Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.  You know what you do laugh and bang some more.  No shame I have done all these countless times and told all 11,000 of you crazy followers.  Read my stories.  The broken nose was a bitch.  Its still a little crooked.

When did sex become such a taboo topic America?  We all were born with equipment for it, we all know it feels really really really really really really fucking good, and shit America its a great workout and many of you could use one.  So put on a condom grab the woman next to you (go gay guys to I guess) and bang her/him where ever you are reading this.  In the living room?  Bang.  Bedroom?  Bang.  If she is in the kitchen cooking get in there turn off the stove and bend her over the counter.  On a plane?  Get that mile high club.  But stop planning, scheduling, accounting, rationalizing, registering and calculating sex.  We are all eating, shitting, fucking animals.  And anyone who says they aren’t is a eunuch.

So why have I gone on this rant today well here is “Breaking News” on CNN.  All the shit going on in the world Americans want to hear about a couple who had sex every day for a year.  This is pathetic.  I have done this by accident for at least three years of my now 28 (birthday a week ago 😦 I’m old) life.  What do people do in college?  Study?  Any way here it is

Now get out there and please your woman America.  Wear condoms.

Long Live the Writers

Taylor Oceans

By the way America you wanted it you got it.  My book is done.  Click link below and buy ten copies.

11,000 disciples in my first year of blogging fuck yeah America thanks.  I wrote this book for you.  And got an editor for you.

108 thoughts on “Sex Life of America

  1. Hysterical! I remember being 28 and feeling the same way! Double your age to figure out mine! LOL I travel outside of the USA for work and can tell you we are the most prudish country I have ever seen. Once exposed to how others live you can be thankful and disappointed at the same time about how our society has developed compared to others!

    Keep up the fun writing! You will see more of me in the future!

  2. Taylor, you may be interested to read the book of Catherine Millet called “The Sexual Life of Catherine M.” when you get the chance. This is an intelligent and fascinating story of a woman who appreciates sex. The writing is excellent.

  3. Yeah, I never understood this. Sex is taboo but extreme violence is not. And then, we have “pro-lifers.” Makes no sense to me at all.

  4. Pingback: Sex Life of America | from piff to poetry.

  5. I love it! It’s always a great thing when I come across people who just let it out. I agree, the best sex is spontaneous, frequent, fun, and most importantly it exists in a world of no expectations. Let it flow!

    Outstanding Post.

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  7. I keep wondering how Americans got to be so prudish about S E X! That CNN clip about the couple who had sex every day for 365 days really demonstrated how repressed many of us are. Otherwise there would not have been anything for the wife to overcome and comment about. At least she seems ready to enjoy herself now and her hubby now.

  8. I love this post. Sometimes I don’t understand why people are so ashamed of having sex/talking about sex/even thinking about sex. It’s literally what we’re naturally made to do, and it’s enjoyable to boot.

  9. I LOVE THIS BLOG. its obscene and in your face and energetic and you don’t give a shit about punctuation. it is the blog equivalent of sex. uninhibited, beautiful, brilliant. i love it.

  10. Pingback: ONE FUCKING YEAR BITCHES | Playing Your Hand Right

  11. Absolutely Americans need to loosen up. Laughter before, during and after sex is amazing.. Thanks for his post You made me laugh..

  12. lovely rant 😉
    and so true

    i have found that what goes on in london seems to be the most open but you will get a huge mix of kink and sex.
    when i was in the states, i had sex often but never the kind i wanted.. quantity vs quality and because of what was going on in my life, i never had kink.
    now i live in france.. all the fuckers seem to want is to swing and have sex… which would be fine if the majority had a clue about what good sex is or how to do that thing called… common courtesy… i would like to cum too thank you kindly!
    funny thing is the women here seem to have this “ick no! you are a shit person” should they date a guy that has a fetish of some kind, guys here seem a bit repressed and the women seem shy to learn.
    …..*sigh* …i just want kink… tie me up or pin me down, make me feel something besides boredom and for the love of all that is holy… SPANK ME LIKE YOU MEAN IT!

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