Well America as you may know I have gotten a regular job to apply for a small business loan.  Seems banks have a problem with unemployed retired drug dealers.  So I have gone back to my trade as a lighting technician.  I do theatre grade lights and really know my shit.  I did the lighting for the whalers once and got to sit on the bassist amp the entire show.  Well half in the middle of it I walked off the front of the stage and straight into a threesome.  Foursome if you count the girl driving the car.  But that was the end of my legal work.  I actually quit to leave early to bang those chicks.  WORTH IT!

Any who I’m currently working a party at the Country club of Virginia.  These rich people know how to party and can afford theatre quality lights which brings me to problem solving.  I just started this job two months ago and am currently getting paid to supervise the party and address any technical issues that may arise during the party.  Well they did.  Lost an entire room’s mood lighting.  Here I am  at my computer upstairs in the ballroom.  Staring at my keyboard wishing words would appear without the aid of Rum.  Suddenly an engineer from the club comes to my perch and tells me the problem.  Like a crack head with a debt I was off.  Saw the problem, started trouble shooting and realized the buildings breakers couldn’t support the load.  When we wired it we didn’t plan for the chefs heat lamps and the breakers kept popping.  Without a second of panic I addressed the problem and fixed it in minutes.  I will spare you the tech lingo because I don’t even give a fuck and I’m paid to do it.

This job may suck and I’m currently in a club I will never be able to afford to be a member at however I love problem solving.  It is your time to shine.  Resourcefulness, courage, creativity, thinking outside the box, dedication and quick thinking are the key to problem solving and it is what I do best.  That is what I like about doing lighting.  Well that and when God made the earth the first thing he did was put on his tech cloths and said “let there be light”.  It is always a different problem that needs a creative solution.  What I’m trying to say America is have faith in yourself.  When the shit hits the fan you can lead, follow or get the fuck out of the way.  I lead.  What do you do?

And on a personal note negotiations dragging out with this publishing company so I will remain a member of the working class just in case I have to tell them to fuck off and start my own publishing company.  Totally going to steal their sales reps to spite them for making me eat a grand in lawyer fees during the negotiation.  I’m thinking Atlas and Phoenix Publications.  Thoughts?  Atlas and oceans?  Oceans Publishing?  Live Bad Ass Publications?  Take no shit and prisoners publications.  Do what you love, love what you do and have what you love kill you publishing.  To wordy.  Any who peace out America I have to do a lap around this party to be sure no drunks have fucked my lights.  Just remember don’t take no shit America, but remain a Gentleman.  If I can say I can do anything so can you.


Long Live the Writers



6 thoughts on “PROBLEM SOLVING

  1. Start your own publishing company. Acronym: ARSE. Take your pick for whatever you want the A,R,S & E to stand for. I would write a book spcifically just to get it published by the renowned publishing company ARSE. ;)

  2. Love this blog and this post. Just the inspiration a fresh college grad needs while failing at job hunting and getting loans.
    PS: Being a Virginia native and knowing all about the country club I empathize with you. There are some interesting characters. Nice to know there are fellow blogger in the area though.

    Best of luck to you.

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